Breath of Life
Wonder what makes me feel this immense void,
As if my thoughts were asleep,
My aimless, meaningless steps?
What is this strange feeling,
That follows me in my day to day,
That doesn’t leave me, consumes me and dominates me?
Wonder what you take from my life,
The pleasure of appreciating the beautiful, nature…
From wanting to have to wanting to be?
What is this thing that comes and stays,
that comes and stays and doesn’t go away
, making me suffer?
What is this thing that makes me feel,
Right next to me what I so want to forget,
Right next to me… what can’t I want?
What is it… what is it that consumes me every day?
From so much living,
I can almost know…
I feel it’s HEALTH…
This longing that I feel and that makes me suffer.
This longing that I’ve already learned to live with…
This longing that doesn’t know how to live without me.
At home. London, October 23, 1994
MARIA LUCIA DA COSTA
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MY POOR MOTHER
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NOT BEING YOU
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MY CHRISTMAS ORDER
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